Tuesday, May 14, 2002
This is going to be really quick today. I have spent my ENTIRE day doing nothing, but playing and I still haven't found time to write in this journal.
The two topics I would like to discuss are Paul and my vacation plans and my conversation with Edward.
First, Paul wants to take me on vacation this summer. We had discussed going to California for a week, but those plans fell through. (refer to February's entries to find out why they fell through) Then we thought about spending a week in Albany or spending a week in Vermont or something. So then, I am sitting in the movie theater this weekend, with my parents, and all of a sudden it HIT me! I KNEW where I wanted to go on vacation. WELL UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FLORIDA OBVIOUSLY!
YAYAYAYAY! I have been there before; when I was 17 or so, and it was fucking the coolest thing I have been to in my life. Being an actor, you can see why. As soon as I got home, I called Paul to explain my idea. He immediatly shot it down. Of fucking course. Like he has any better ideas. Or maybe he was just in pain or something. Whatever. ;)
He was like: "Joe, we I don't have the money for both of our tickets, the visit, the hotel, the transport, etc." Then I explained my plan. My parents are letting me use their Condo Time Share whenever I want. The condos are BEAUTIFUL and have a kitchen, living room, bathroom, sometimes two bedrooms, closets, pools, fitness centers, saunas, etc. But they are only located in certain areas. ONE OF THESE AREAS BEING DISNEY WORLD! UM!!!! Cuz Universal is right by Disney. Right by. So we could go to Disney and to Universal all in the same trip AND stay right in the area for free! Amazing right? Right.
So then he is like, "I still don't think I will have the money to pay for both of our airfare, etc." So I talked to my parents about it and they said that they could prolly get me roundtrip airfare at like $200 or so, depending on when we make our decision and what airline we use. (My mom can get some phat deals through work) I could pay that. Easily. Well, not so easily, but easily enough!
Paul is still wishy washy about the whole thing, but I know that is because he didn't come up with the idea. I don't know. That is where I want to go.
That is the only place that I want to go now.
I have never been on vacation with a boyfriend before. How fucking exciting! I just hope we can get our shit together and really do this. I never care about going away anywhere and honestly that is why I never go ANYWHERE. But this is the first time that I WANT WANT WANT to go somewhere. And I think this trip is totally up my ally.
Keep your fingers crossed for me folks!
Ok...the conversation with Edward.
WAS AMAZING!
He and I have such a good rhythm when we talk. He is so fucking adorable that sometimes I want to climb through the computer and eat him alive. He is funny, sensitive, and endearing. He cares about me so much and I know he knows that I feel the same way about him. If he were gay, he and I would be together in 30 seconds. Well, that is if there was no such thing as a Paul. But all of this is based on that idea.
Edward and I have gotten to know eachother so much more since I graduated college. And ironically enough, I have only seen him once since I left. And I graduated exactly 2 years ago tomorrow. (OMIGOD! DID I REALLY GRADUATE TWO YEARS AGO TOMORROW! HOLY FUCK! (May 15th, 2000).
In the last two years, he and I have spent only like 6 hours in the same room. But we IM at least once or twice a week, I will start calling him, and he is moving down here within months. Having him around as a permanant addition is not only going to be fun, it is going to be something that both he and I have waited for for a long time.
If he wasn't so damn attractive, I would never question our friendship.
I am very happy with Paul. He is the one that I want. He is the only one that I would even consider. I mean Edward is straight afterall. (Maybe not completely...but too straight for my taste). But sometimes it is a little difficult to be friends with someone that is exactly what you are physically looking for in a man. He is big, strong, and the exact type of man that I am drawn too.
It is strange for me to have any sort of opinion on this because I don't look at Edward as though he were an object of lust. I look at him as a friend that drives me crazy sometimes. You know? I am older than him by almost 3 years and that puts a rift between us. We have only really been friends, in the same location, for 6 months. He is obsessed with finding a girlfriend and I am obsessed with the boyfriend I already have. Circumstances should prevent us from even becoming a friendship match, but circumstances can be misleading.
I cherish him. I do. I am very excited for his upcoming visit and even more excited to have him in the city. I hope that he and I can find some sort of common playing field and that we can strengthen the bond that we already have. He takes care of me in some ways and I do the same to him.
If only he would gain like 100 pounds, or even worse, lose like 100 pounds...then I would never look at him as having any sort of physical prowess. And then I would never wonder what it would be like to go to that next, unfortunate, impossible to change, level.
Life is confusing as fuck.
How could I possibly write about these two topics in the same entry? How could I possibly?
The two topics I would like to discuss are Paul and my vacation plans and my conversation with Edward.
First, Paul wants to take me on vacation this summer. We had discussed going to California for a week, but those plans fell through. (refer to February's entries to find out why they fell through) Then we thought about spending a week in Albany or spending a week in Vermont or something. So then, I am sitting in the movie theater this weekend, with my parents, and all of a sudden it HIT me! I KNEW where I wanted to go on vacation. WELL UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FLORIDA OBVIOUSLY!
YAYAYAYAY! I have been there before; when I was 17 or so, and it was fucking the coolest thing I have been to in my life. Being an actor, you can see why. As soon as I got home, I called Paul to explain my idea. He immediatly shot it down. Of fucking course. Like he has any better ideas. Or maybe he was just in pain or something. Whatever. ;)
He was like: "Joe, we I don't have the money for both of our tickets, the visit, the hotel, the transport, etc." Then I explained my plan. My parents are letting me use their Condo Time Share whenever I want. The condos are BEAUTIFUL and have a kitchen, living room, bathroom, sometimes two bedrooms, closets, pools, fitness centers, saunas, etc. But they are only located in certain areas. ONE OF THESE AREAS BEING DISNEY WORLD! UM!!!! Cuz Universal is right by Disney. Right by. So we could go to Disney and to Universal all in the same trip AND stay right in the area for free! Amazing right? Right.
So then he is like, "I still don't think I will have the money to pay for both of our airfare, etc." So I talked to my parents about it and they said that they could prolly get me roundtrip airfare at like $200 or so, depending on when we make our decision and what airline we use. (My mom can get some phat deals through work) I could pay that. Easily. Well, not so easily, but easily enough!
Paul is still wishy washy about the whole thing, but I know that is because he didn't come up with the idea. I don't know. That is where I want to go.
That is the only place that I want to go now.
I have never been on vacation with a boyfriend before. How fucking exciting! I just hope we can get our shit together and really do this. I never care about going away anywhere and honestly that is why I never go ANYWHERE. But this is the first time that I WANT WANT WANT to go somewhere. And I think this trip is totally up my ally.
Keep your fingers crossed for me folks!
Ok...the conversation with Edward.
WAS AMAZING!
He and I have such a good rhythm when we talk. He is so fucking adorable that sometimes I want to climb through the computer and eat him alive. He is funny, sensitive, and endearing. He cares about me so much and I know he knows that I feel the same way about him. If he were gay, he and I would be together in 30 seconds. Well, that is if there was no such thing as a Paul. But all of this is based on that idea.
Edward and I have gotten to know eachother so much more since I graduated college. And ironically enough, I have only seen him once since I left. And I graduated exactly 2 years ago tomorrow. (OMIGOD! DID I REALLY GRADUATE TWO YEARS AGO TOMORROW! HOLY FUCK! (May 15th, 2000).
In the last two years, he and I have spent only like 6 hours in the same room. But we IM at least once or twice a week, I will start calling him, and he is moving down here within months. Having him around as a permanant addition is not only going to be fun, it is going to be something that both he and I have waited for for a long time.
If he wasn't so damn attractive, I would never question our friendship.
I am very happy with Paul. He is the one that I want. He is the only one that I would even consider. I mean Edward is straight afterall. (Maybe not completely...but too straight for my taste). But sometimes it is a little difficult to be friends with someone that is exactly what you are physically looking for in a man. He is big, strong, and the exact type of man that I am drawn too.
It is strange for me to have any sort of opinion on this because I don't look at Edward as though he were an object of lust. I look at him as a friend that drives me crazy sometimes. You know? I am older than him by almost 3 years and that puts a rift between us. We have only really been friends, in the same location, for 6 months. He is obsessed with finding a girlfriend and I am obsessed with the boyfriend I already have. Circumstances should prevent us from even becoming a friendship match, but circumstances can be misleading.
I cherish him. I do. I am very excited for his upcoming visit and even more excited to have him in the city. I hope that he and I can find some sort of common playing field and that we can strengthen the bond that we already have. He takes care of me in some ways and I do the same to him.
If only he would gain like 100 pounds, or even worse, lose like 100 pounds...then I would never look at him as having any sort of physical prowess. And then I would never wonder what it would be like to go to that next, unfortunate, impossible to change, level.
Life is confusing as fuck.
How could I possibly write about these two topics in the same entry? How could I possibly?
